Trauma, Prayer, Blessings, and Support

So I haven't posted on here in a long time. Almost a year, actually. My last post was about the light of my life being born. This year has been amazing and I cannot believe how much I love Connor. He really is the greatest joy and has touched so many hearts. Well, what does this have to do with the title of this blog entry? Here we go. I write this as he is sleeping in his pack n play all by himself and I am trying to cry softly to not wake him up. September 15th started out as such a good day. I got a steal on a pack n play for 15.00, I talked with my best friend as she vented about her wedding planning frustrations, Connor and I played and laughed, we joined our family at my nephews football game, after the game we stopped for lunch and went home to play some more and this was all before 3:00. At around 3:00/3:15/3:30 my world came crashing to a halt. Connor was playing with his new blocks when our family dog of 7 years viciously attacked him. Rocky (the dog) grabbed Connor by the face taking him down to the ground on our tile floor. I tried to get him off of Connor and was unsuccessful, this resulting in the dog re-latching and grabbing a hold of Connors skull. I was able to get him off and called 911. Blood was everywhere and Connor was screaming and his face and skull were covered by flowing rivers of bloods. I thought my son was going to die at that moment and I had failed as a parent. At this point I was still in shock and crying uncontrollably. I had never been this scared in my life. My son is my whole world and I couldn't imagine my life without him. The firetruck showed up first and the firefighters helped me put Connor in his car seat and we wrapped his head with a towel. They took him before I could even realize it. By this time I had police, fire fighters, EMTs and who knows who else. It was all a blur. A fire fighter named Dawn cleaned me up a little to make sure I was not injured and was nice enough to drive me to the hospital in my car while I called my husband, Kevin, who was in Arizona at the time, my parents, and my sister. I also called my best friend but she had been drinking all day and couldn't comprehend what I was trying to tell her. We arrived at Inland Valley Hospital where I was greeted by my parents, the ER doctor, a trauma counselor, and more police. I tried to help calm down Connor, but I couldn't. I kissed his hand as they put him in a medically induced coma and put him on a breathing machine. I explained what happened to the police officers and sheriffs, as well as the trauma counselor while I got ready to go in the medi vac. The hospital could not help Connor so we were air lifted to Riverside County Hospital. It's hard to see police, doctors, and counselors tear up as you tell them the story. These people see things like this all of the time, but this made them think of their own children. I was still in shock the entire medi vac ride. It was interesting though, I felt numb at that moment. Like life was going on around me, but I was standing still. I was worried. Worried about my husband who was driving home from Arizona. We landed at the hospital and I was greeted by an administrator filled out all of my paperwork for me while the ER staff began to work on Connor. The ER staff were all outstanding. They kept me in the loop 100% of the time as I sat right outside the room. They would let me go in to hold his hand often. One of the nurses put all of my family in a room so they didn't have to wait in the waiting room and so they could relay information. I was by myself in the ER most of the time. My Dad did come back to stay with me, My mother in law came back to see him as well. My mom tried but it was too hard for her and a nurse had to help her back to the family room. After a few hours, this hospital decided they didn't have the resources needed to treat Connor so he was then ambulanced to Loma Linda Children's Hospital where Kevin met us. The ride to Loma Linda was crazy. I was not able to ride in the ambulance so my parents drove me. My dad took this crazy canyon road and i thought I was going to be sick. While driving to the hospital I received a call from the sheriff that met me at the first hospital. His shift had just ended and he went to the second hospital to see how Connor was doing. It warmed my heart to have a sheriff, off the clock, go to the hospital to see how Connor was doing. He also asked if I had heard from Kevin to see how he was doing on his drive. He just cared so much. I held back my tears for the entire phone conversation with him until he said the he and his family would pray for us in church the next day. I couldn't help but break down. I was just overcome with emotion. We arrived at Loma Linda Pediatric Emergency Room and I saw Kevin for the first time in a week (he was away for business). The first thing I said to him was how sorry I was that I couldn't have prevented this and how I tried so hard to get Rocky off of Connor the first time, but he was just too strong, but that I was able to get him off my second try. I got him caught up to speed on what the doctors had been telling me. We both sat in the ER while the doctors worked on Connor. The Neurosurgeon talked with us and explained what he would be doing to Connors skull and scalp. He went over the multiple fractures to the skull and how one fracture was more severe. He operated on Connor right in the ER. The Ear Nose an Throat surgeon discussed his plan for the next day, because that surgery would be more invasive and take about 4 hours. He described the possible facial paralysis and other damage caused and how he intended to fix it. I think the thing that affected us the most is that Connor may never be able to smile again. Connor has the best smile and it warms the heart of anyone that sees it. Kevin and I both broke down. We were moved into the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit)where we remained until the 21st. We had the best nurses and doctors. Connors facial surgery took place on September 16th. After surgery The ENT head surgeon went over the outcome with me. He stated that the nerves they thought were severed were in fact not. It was tendons that were severed which is far less severe. Connor will most likely be able to smile!! They did have to repair a large amount of his face, re attach his ear, reconstruct his ear canal, and to do plastic surgery to his face as well. Connor remained sedated for almost 5 days. He did well when they removed his breathing tube. He did have to go through withdrawals from the heavy drugs which was tough to watch as he shook and cried. It was tough to see my baby in a bed with tubes everywhere and unable to move. He could move his arms, but couldn't talk or clap or smile or anything he normally did. He couldn't even open his eyes due to the swelling of his face and head. It was tough because the day after surgery he started to swell and bruise. His face was like a side ways oval instead of round. The one thing I was not prepared for was that he would have to re-learn everything all over. He could not suck, chew, swallow, sit, talk, clap, mummble, anything. It broke my heart. Especially because Connor did everything early. He walked at 9 months and is always on the go. It took him a day to learn how to suck. Swallowing was still a bit tough. Chewing took a few days. Sitting up took a few days as well and still needed assistance for about a week and a half. He was released from the hospital on the 23rd and remains at home progressing with his recovery. No one expected him to be released that early. He had just come so far in such a short period of time. They let him go home as soon as he received his last round of antibiotics. He has had multiple follow up appointments and his surgeons are so happily surprised with his progress. He is very close to walking again and is almost back 100%. There is still more of the story I could tell, but I think this about sums it up. We are thankful for all of the prayers and good thoughts. We are also incredibly thankful to our family and TRUE friends that stuck by our little Connor while he went through this. You all really gave us the strength to continue on. As of right now- Connor is fighting an infection on his scalp and is healing nicely. He is taking an antibiotic twice a day for his infection and we are applying scar cream to his face and ear three times a day. He is clapping, singing, talking, dancing, and warming peoples hearts again. The road to recovery is not over as the left side of his face is still weak, but they expect it to continue to heal. Thank you or as Connor says "tay tu"